SUMMARY OF THE BENEFITS FOR YOUR CHURCH

Benefit 1:  DISCIPLESHIP OF MEMBERS – ADULTS & CHILDREN

The critical purpose of stopping divorce and family breakdown gives you a very good chance of getting over 75% of your church members into an important but very simple ministry. This introduction to ministry will motivate members to take on other roles in the church.

Benefit 2:  CRITICAL HELP IS GIVEN TO YOUR COMMUNITY

You easily help a great number of non-church families and positively touch their lives weekly for months or years. You help reduce divorce and its disastrous consequences.

Benefit 3:  CHURCH GROWTH IN NUMBERS

More people will come to your church, making more talent and money available to conduct the mission of the church.

26 weeks of touching lives, improving marriages, building families, & teaching kids life skills

$30 buys 4 sets of Course One (26 cards containing 390 critical family dialogue conversations starters), 4 ten-sided dice, 4 instructions sheets, 4 zip lock clear plastic bags plus much back-up information on the Internet at www.FamilyTreasureCards.com.

WHAT ARE TREASURE CARDS AND WHAT IS THE PROGRAM FOR CHURCHES?

Treasure Cards get dialogue conversations going in families and marriages to both improve relationships and give kids critical skills for success. Since divorce and poor family environments result from poor relationships, Treasure Cards are specifically designed to build better and better relationships.

Treasure Cards take no time away from existing church programs. Each week church families and households pass out one Treasure Card to 3 other friends, relatives, neighbors, or people with whom they work.

Treasure Cards are one-fourth the size of a regular sheet of paper, printed on heavy cover stock for durability. Their small size allows them to be carried about and used during "down time".

Treasure Cards are a mixture of two types: Family Treasure Cards and Marriage Treasure Cards.

The program for churches is for one Treasure Card to be given out each week. Two Family Treasure Cards are followed in the third week by a Marriage Treasure Card. This rotation is repeated over and over again. Thus, the family has 3 weeks to cover 30 items on two Family Treasure Cards. And, the couple, when it is not a single-parent family, has 3 weeks to cover the 15 items on the one Marriage Treasure Card received every third week. (click here for adjustments for single parents)

On the back of each Treasure Card are Guidelines for Dialogue (click here to examine) and a box for personalized information about the church whose members are giving them out to families in the community (click here to examine).

Imagine the effectiveness of one of your church families, a Dad, Mom, Brother and Sister, deciding to come up with $5 a month to conduct their own family's critical ministry of helping families, marriages and kids. (The church pays initially, but those families that can pay should reimburse the church to cement their commitment to doing the Lord's work to save families and defeat divorce.)

So, in summary, Treasure Cards are (1) a way to strengthen families and marriages to defeat divorce and family disintegration, (2) a way to give kids critical social, verbal and thinking skills, and (3) a huge church outreach to love people and spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.

GO BACK TO TOP

WHAT DO TREASURE CARDS ACCOMPLISH?

Presently there is no proven answer to divorce. If there was, we would not have a divorce rate of over 50% for both Christians and non-Christians. However, that does not give us license to not try things that look promising.

We have beginning evidence of the effectiveness of our materials. The organization Faith Initiatives of Wyoming used our Great Family Conversations Tool Kit in 4-week seminars in many churches during late 2004 and early 2005 (families and children loved it). As a result of their positive research results, the First Lady of Wyoming used our Tool Kit statewide on National Family Night, September 26, 2005. Over 3,000 families participated. (click here for Wyoming documentation) For more confirmations and testimonies, click here.

Divorce and family breakdown are the results of underdeveloped relationships as well as really hurtful relationships. Treasure Cards are designed to aid the process of developing better and better relationships through dialogue. This leads to understanding, empathy and emotional closeness. In the process of talking about the many things on the Treasure Cards, not only are relationships strengthened, but many social, verbal and thinking skills are learned.

Dialogue is asking questions of each other out of curiosity in order to better know and understand one another.

Churches can decide to do one to six Courses of the Family and Marriage Treasure Cards. A church begins with Course One and makes the decision to go on after a little experience.

In all of our 6 Courses, there are 1,620 choices for dialogue conversations relating to family and 720 for couples to be used over 3 years. These 2,340 dialogue topics are divided into 6 Courses, each course containing 26 Treasure Cards to be given out weekly for six months. These comprise a comprehensive, 3-year plan to build very strong family and marriage relationships and give children many lifelong thinking, verbal, social and problem-solving skills for social situations, employment challenges, and family life.

The 2,340 items in the six Courses come from 5 of our Tool Kits that together sell for $95. The Treasure Cards of the 6 Courses would cost $45 per family over the 3-year period, if a church chose to do all 3 years of personal contact with families inside and outside of their church. That is half of the cost of the five Tool Kits.

There are too many strategic aspects to the design of the Treasure Cards to explain here. The Cards were designed over the last 4 years by Dick Wulf, a Colorado licensed clinical social worker (psychotherapist) with over 40 years experience who is also a published Christian author (Find Yourself – Give Yourself, 1983, NavPress, 3 printings), and successful Christian game designer (the role-playing game DragonRaid was published to counter the objectionable game Dungeons and Dragons in 1984 and brought thousands of young people to Christ).

For a partial list of benefits of the Treasure Card Dialogue Conversations, click here.

The Treasure Cards are not religious. The items for conversation come from Tool Kits designed by Dick and Jean Wulf to help families, couples and kids nationwide. [The Great Faith Conversations and Prayer Tool Kit was not used, but is available online to Christian families.]

First of all, the Treasure Cards are designed to help all family and marital relationships grow, no matter how good they are to begin with. Relationships grow through safe dialogue that leads to understanding.

For example, in dialoguing the question, "What is your favorite ice cream?", questions are asked until the other family members know that on that person's birthday, it is not sufficient to know just the flavor. The dialogue questions would hopefully have clarified what is the favorite brand of that ice cream flavor, whether or not it is liked cold and hard or melting a little, what kind of cake goes best with it, and other things necessary for that person to feel special at his or her own birthday party.

Of course, no guarantees can be made for results, since how families use the Treasure Cards is totally in their control. Because of this, the Treasure Cards have a disclaimer to protect the church.

Used with the safe form of communication we call dialogue, great results can be made. Those items that come from the Great Family Conversations Tool Kit help family members enjoy people and their uniqueness. This will help the family's children get the first promotions in many of their jobs. Items from the Great Parenting Conversations Tool Kit teach responsibility and should lead to supervisory positions in later employment. The positive thinking skills and problem-solving skills of the Great Family Leadership for Success Tool Kit prepare children for later managerial positions. We're fairly confident that such skills can add up to $250,000 extra in lifetime earnings.

GO BACK TO TOP

WHAT MAKES TREASURE CARDS SO EFFECTIVE?

A big factor in the effectiveness of the Treasure Cards is their regular use over time, week by week, especially aided by your members handing out just one card per week with encouragement. So often those things that can build relationships or repair damaged relationships are done initially and then dropped before they become regular. The personal contact of your church members for months and years will make the critical difference.

The optional game format provides fun to get kids involved. Even though most kids love to talk and get the attention, sometimes the ten-sided die is helpful to add variety.

The content of the Treasure Cards is comprehensive. Items for dialogue conversation range from fun to serious. There is a master strategy to the content of the cards.

The 2,340 items on the cards, meant to be used over three years, come from 5 of our 14 Tool Kits designed for families and couples and sold online and through fundraisers. Here is a list of the Tool Kits used for the Treasure Cards and descriptions of the items on the grids. Reading this list will give you a better idea of the critical content of the Treasure Cards.

The Great Family Conversations Tool Kit
600 fun and informative items to talk about, using safe dialogue.
A process to use for years to build relationships.
Brings families closer and helps them enjoy one another more.
Gives kids the skills to be able to work with people socially.

Getting to Know You           Family Talk Game Grid # 1
This grid helps your family get started talking about 100 things and having fun together.

When I am feeling good, I like to	I feel important when . . .
When I was little, I remember . . .	My favorite place is . . .

Favorites           Family Talk Game Grid # 2
It's a lot of fun to hear about 100 of everybody's favorite things.

What is your favorite . . . and why?

movie	chore
skill or talent	thing to do by yourself

Wishes & Dreams           Family Talk Game Grid # 3
Find out a lot about one another with these 100 fantasy questions.

What superpower would you like to have?	What is something in the world you would change?
On what collection would you like to spend $10,000?	What kind of person would you like to be?

Memories: Family Edition           Family Talk Game Grid # 4
Tell each other about over 200 various things you have experienced and enjoyed.

Tell a memory about or involving . . .

a friend who complimented you; or a table game	a park; something done in the snow; or a gift you gave
a very difficult thing you once had to do	something you wish could happen again

Emotions           Family Talk Game Grid # 5
Learn what affects 100 of the feelings and moods of family members.

What makes you feel . . . ?

happy or glad	lonely
gloomy	relaxed

Family Talk Potpourri           Family Talk Game Grid # 6
This is a mixture of 100 items under all of the categories listed above.

What are your favorite things to do with friends?	Where is a very beautiful place you've been?
When I am feeling frustrated, I like to . . .	How hard is it to hear, "No" to what you want? Why?

 

LIKELY BENEFITS FROM THIS TOOL KIT: beginning safety in family communication, dialogue skills, ability to express self, listening skills, tolerance for differences, appreciation of uniqueness, feeling of importance and significance, appropriate attention from others, etc.

The Great Parenting Conversations Tool Kit
600 fun items about responsibility and important things to talk about.
A process to use for years to build responsibility.
Builds character and a strong sense of responsibility, and survival skills.
Gives kids the very critical skills necessary to excel in supervisory positions later.

Us & Our Kids           Parenting Game Grid # 1
Parents need to agree together what to teach their children about 100 things.

These items are not in the Treasure Cards

watching television	treating other kids respectfully
being safe from molestation or abduction	How can we better help our kids with school?

Thinking Together: Parent & Kid/Teen           Parenting Game Grids # 2a & 2b
Sharing ideas about 100 things helps kids & teens think about serious things and set standards.

What do you think about . . . ?   And, why?

study habits and learning	losing a game
using illegal drugs	pushing yourself to succeed

Best Way Kids/Teens           Parenting Game Grids # 3a & 3b
Talking about the best ways to do 100 things and get things done is good teaching.

What is the best way to . . .  and why?

fly a kite	get your homework done on time
travel in the car and not be too loud	tell a friend no

Growing Up — Facing Consequences           Parenting Game Grid # 4
Discussing consequences for 100 dysfunctional behaviors teaches responsible behavior.

What do you think should be the (teaching or natural or logical) consequences if you . . . ?

don't do your best in school	do not behave for the child care worker or sitter
do your chores too slowly	let a friend convince you to do wrong

Strengths & Weaknesses           Parenting Game Grid # 5
Looking at 100 strengths and weaknesses is very important for success in life.

If you have a strength, how will you use it responsively?
If a weakness, how will you handle it?  Can you improve?

accepting	imaginative
independent	persistent

Survival & Success           Parenting Game Grid # 6
Make sure your kids know how to face these 100 difficult challenges of life.

What do you need to keep in mind to swim safely?	How good are you at showing interest in others?
What do you do if there is an intruder in the house?	Are you able to learn from your mistakes?

LIKELY BENEFITS FROM THIS TOOL KIT: cooperation between parents, intentional parenting skills, thoughtful consideration of life's important things, responsible thinking skills, task planning skills, chore recognition and analysis, participation in discipline and correction, better chore and rule compliance, maturity skills, acceptance of strengths and weaknesses, growth in areas of weakness, life success orientation, many skills to foster personal success, survival knowledge, etc.

The Great Family Leadership and Success Tool Kit
575 dialogue questions and activities to help get kids ready for the real world.
A process to use for years to build problem-solving and decision-making skills, values & wisdom.
Helps the family work together and encourage one another.
Gives kids the very critical skills necessary for career managerial positions later.

Incentives & Rewards           Family Leadership Grid # 1
Affirm your children when they make notable family contributions.

These items are not in the Treasure Cards

rent a movie of your choice	play your favorite table game in the next 2 days
5 points toward a Big Payoff Reward	$5 donated to a charity of your choice in your name

Positive Attitude           Family Leadership Grid # 2
Build "Can Do" attitudes by thinking of 3 good things about these 200 items.

Name 3 good things about . . .

chores	all televisions in the house broken
apologizing	remembering everything needed

Wisdom & Values           Family Leadership Grid # 3
Dialogue about these 100 values and instill discernment and good judgment.

What do you think is valuable about . . . ?

being compassionate	not stealing
waiting to get things	being happy for others

 

Creative Problem-Solving           Family Leadership Grid # 4
Develop problem-solving thinking rather than complaining or giving up, using these 100 predicaments.

How would you solve (handle) this problem?
What would you do . . . ?

you need to find more time to do homework or job training	you don't like one of your best friend's friends
your little brother or sister needs to have more confidence	your friends require something illegal for your club membership

Family Night           Family Leadership Grid # 5
100 activity ideas that can help Family Night success.

Not many, but a few are in the Family Treasure Cards.

walk or hike somewhere	interview an older person
make up fortune cookie messages	plan a celebration

Giving Gifts           Family Leadership Grid # 6
Be on each other's side, active in affirming one another in a variety of ways.

Not many, but a few are in the Family Treasure Cards.

Thank someone for something done for you.	The family helps each person see an excellent skill they have.
Compliment someone about how he or she handles responsibilities.	Give a compliment using the word "amazing"

 

LIKELY BENEFITS FROM THIS TOOL KIT: family cooperation, appreciation, affirmation skills, system for rewarding good behavior and family contributions, positive attitudes, "can do" orientation to life, wisdom for successful living, values for success, creative problem-solving skills, solution-thinking about social situations, ideas for family night times, family teamwork, etc.

The Great Family Activities Tool Kit
Many activities to help family members build better family relationships through fun and intriguing activities.
A process to use for years to keep the family having fun together.
Includes a Family Survival Audio CD for when traveling or waiting too long.

We used some items from the activity grids listed below.

Family Activities           Family Activity Game Grids # 1a & 1b
200 things to do as a family to add variety to activities together.

go to a playground or on a picnic	give someone an award for something
plan a trip for sometime in the future	make something useful for your home

Make Someone Happy           Family Activity Game Grid # 2a
25 things that a family can do together to bring happiness to others.

Take someone to something he/she cannot afford.

In your front yard, run one free carnival game with prizes for your neighborhood.

Loosen Up !           Family Activity Game Grid # 2b
25 things to do together to take a break from the seriousness of life.

Find a most ridiculous thing and make a table decoration of it.

Make some food look horrible, taste good, and eat it.

Great Stories           Family Activity Game Grid # 3a
Make up fun and interesting stories by the roll of the die and 300 choices.

CHILDREN YELLED WILD ANIMAL	BOAT ROLLED FLOWERS
LION HID GARDEN	TREASURE PIERCED SCISSORS

The Great Couple Conversations Tool Kit
600 informative items to talk about, using safe dialogue.
A process to use for years to build a more understanding, safer relationship.
Brings spouses and partners closer together in understanding and enjoyment.
Fosters acceptance, helpfulness, cooperation, and other good-relationship things.

Adults Sharing Memories           Couple Talk Game Grid # 1
Tell each other about 100 things you have experienced and enjoyed.

Tell a memory about or involving . . .

what you liked best about being a kid (not a teen)	the people who have made you laugh or enjoy life more
your grandparents' houses	your very most favorite animal friend in the world

About Us # 1           Couple Talk Game Grid # 2
These 100 questions help you begin to understand one another.

Who are your three closest friends and why are each important?	How do we want to handle telephone solicitations?
For what store would you prefer to have a $5,000 gift certificate?	What weighs you down in life that you would like to get rid of?

About Us # 2           Couple Talk Game Grid # 3
100 questions slightly geared toward what men like talking about.

What trips would we like to take?	How often should the house be picked up?
What project would you like to finish next?	What do you do when you can't sleep at night?

About Us # 3           Couple Talk Game Grid # 4
100 questions slightly geared toward what women like talking about.

What is your favorite restaurant for us to go to?	Has any music greatly affected your life?
With only $30 to spend, what kind of dates would you enjoy?	What kind of financial conditions really scare you?

Couple Potpourri           Couple Talk Game Grid # 5
100 questions help you understand 100 more things about each other.

What is your favorite restaurant for us to go to?	Has any music greatly affected your life?
With only $30 to spend, what kind of dates would you enjoy?	What kind of financial conditions really scare you?

Best Way Opinions           Couple Talk Game Grid # 6
Compare your ideas about the best way to accomplish 100 things.

What is the best way to . . . and why?

make differences work well	celebrate our anniversary
mow the lawn	keep in touch with friends

LIKELY BENEFITS FROM THIS TOOL KIT: dialogue skills, ability to express self, listening skills, tolerance for differences, appreciation of uniqueness, feeling of importance and significance, appropriate attention from spouse, learning about and getting to know one another better, how to help one another more, better cooperation, clarification of expectations, exchange of ideas on how to get things done.

JESUS SHOWED US HOW TO LOVE OTHERS & INVITE THEM INTO THE KINGDOM OF GOD

The ministry of families reaching out to families is very effective love. Christ's love can rarely be expressed without the human touch. We Christians are His flesh-and-blood representatives to a hurting world. Honest concern expressed weekly over years — that's what missionaries do. We all need to be missionaries to our communities. And Treasure Cards are a very simple and non-threatening way to go about helping.

When it comes to helping families and marriages get stronger, nothing beats the personal touch. Jesus taught us that. Over months, the weekly contact when Treasure Cards are given to someone makes your church member (and your church) available when needed. No one knows when a husband or wife, or mother or father, or child will need a little time to talk – or some deeper help from your church. That's why this up-to-3-year program, available for 6 months at a time, is ideal.

Jesus showed us The Model for interacting with others. He spent about three years walking among the people and helping. When people were interested in more contact, or when they were looking for faith, they followed Jesus. In the same way, your church families, your church members, and the children of your church can walk as Jesus walked. The possible time period of 3 years gives everyone a similar experience to what Jesus modeled for us. Thus, in His steps, the 3 years can be a Jesus Walk, similar to how He lived. And, those helped in your community will come to you when they become interested. Just like happened with Jesus 2000 years ago.

GO BACK TO TOP

HOW TO GET STARTED?

Getting started is really easy. All you do is order, put the beginning Treasure Card, the 10-sided die, and the instruction sheet into the provided plastic bags, encourage and motivate your families to begin, and occasionally put "spark" into this important ministry from the pulpit.

The first Treasure Card is given out with an instruction sheet and a ten-sided die
to add an optional fun game-like atmosphere in a clear plastic, zip-lock bag.

Beginning package = Family Treasure Card #1, 10-sided die, plastic bag & folded Instruction Booklet.

We can give you ideas for fun ways to encourage church families to use the Treasure Cards. You want them using the Treasure Cards actively to build stronger marriages and families. For example, you might want to have a prize at a church fellowship for the family who can identify each person's favorite ice cream flavor and brand. This is just one of many ways families and marriages can be motivated in a fun way to do those things that will help insure against divorce and family break up.

GO BACK TO TOP

WAYS TO PAY THE VERY SMALL PRICE OF TREASURE CARDS

Our suggestion is that families pay the small price for participating in this ministry. If they pay the $30 per six months (only $5 per month to have their own active family ministry), they will be committed to using the Treasure Cards themselves and to passing them out to three other families (more if they choose). Even though the church must pay initially, if the church passes the cost on to the families (all but the poorest families), it will cement commitment to ministry of the families and individuals participating. It will also emphasize the important value of the Marriage and Family Treasure Cards.

Families can find some way to raise $30 every 6 months to use the Treasure Cards themselves as well as give them weekly to three other families. Families can have garage sales or hire out to other church members to clean houses or whatever. Families can pass up two movies a year or decide to buy two less DVDs or one less video game to do this important work for the Lord.

Others in your church can hand out Treasure Cards. Even though singles and seniors cannot use the Treasure Cards, they can pass them out to 4 families they know in the community. And, those married without children just need to find a single parent family to give their Family Treasure Cards while they keep and use their Marriage Treasure Cards.

Should the church be worried about this program not paying for itself, your church can find other churches to do the Family and Marriage Treasure Cards Ministry and receive a 10% finders fee.

GO BACK TO TOP

WHAT IS THE ORDER PROCESS LIKE?  HOW EASY IS IT?  WHAT IS THE COST?

You email us at Jean@Wulf.com. (Clicking below will do it.) We will have a simple conversation with you that will lead to accurate customization of the Treasure Cards.

The cost is $30 per church family or participating church "unit" ($5 a month per family). That includes Family and Marriage Treasure Cards for 26 weeks (one half year) plus the beginning plastic bag, instructions, sources of online help and a beautiful ten-sided die. The $5 per month or $30 total provides one set of Cards for for church family plus 3 more sets for 3 families outside of the church (or 4 sets for four outside families if a single or senior is participating).

One way to think of this is that one family counseling session costs about $100. And, one session hardly solves any family problem. Yet, for the cost of one session, a family can receive a year and a half of the Treasure Cards process for their family and three other families. This is a powerful process, not just a quick activity that does not have a chance of instilling long lasting change.

So, to get a feel for the price, a church with 50 families using the Treasure Cards also for outreach would pay $1,500. The church charges $30 to families who can pay and absorbs the shortfall.

In a church with 50 families, 50 families inside the church would be helped and 150 families outside of the church. If just one family out of those 150 families began to come to the church and give tithes and offerings, the whole Treasure Card program would be paid for and then some.

GO BACK TO TOP

WHY CHURCHES ARE SO CRITICAL TO CURBING DIVORCE AND FAMILY DISINTEGRATION IN AMERICA

We haven't been able to find anyone else who can do the job. It may be that the churches are the only organizations who have the capacity to do this for the sake of America's families and couples and kids. Quite frankly, we hope we do not to approach fraternal clubs across America to get the job done.

The churches of America can reduce the divorce rate and save a lot of families. Unlike so many other organizations, churches have families who live to serve Jesus Christ. Thus, churches can get the job done – if they choose to do so. Please say "yes" to this opportunity.

GO BACK TO TOP

WHY IS THE PROBLEM OF DIVORCE AND FAMILY BREAKDOWN SO URGENT?

The societal problems caused by divorce are staggering.

What if your church could stop just one sexual molestation? Would it be worth doing this Treasure Cards Ministry? So many women have been molested by stepfathers. (Dick Wulf: "It has broken my heart as a therapist for years.") Preventing divorce often goes hand-in-hand with stopping a lot of molestation.

What if your church could keep a few of your church's teens from drug abuse? You've heard the advertisements: "Talk to your kids. Parents: the antidrug." But, many parents don't know what to talk to their kids about. The Family Treasure Cards give over 1500 things to talk about. Almost all of those things are fun to dialogue about – yet give critical skills also. Using the Family Treasure Cards will open up communication in families. This will create the atmosphere for parents to help their kids stay off of drugs.

What if your church could help a lot of children do better in school so that they can reach their potential? Children from difficult homes have to attend classes and study with part of their mind back on what is going on at home. Or their mind is in a fog as their unconscious tries to keep them from thinking about and becoming overwhelmed by what is going on in the home. The designer of the Treasure Cards, Dick Wulf, had one of those childhoods. He knows that he has been held back considerably because he could not put his whole mind on school as a kid. When your church helps families provide more stable environments because of dialogue spurred by the Treasure Cards, you will be helping kids reach their educational and life potential.

What if your church could keep a few kids from delinquency because you helped their parents through the Treasure Cards to connect with and show interest in their kids? So many kids commit delinquent acts because life at home is horrible.

What if your church could . . . ?   The list could go on and on.

Consider this quote from a news magazine called The Week, 9/5/03.

Don't expect schools to "fix" the legions of poor kids who are flunking their lessons, said William Raspberry in The Washington Post.

Today, every urban school district in America is facing enormous pressure to raise the academic achievement of kids from impoverished families. But the hard truth is that schools just can't make up for what children's parents fail to provide—and an exhaustive study proves it.

Researchers Betty Hart and Todd R. Risley spent countless hours with both middle-class and poor families, carefully observing the interactions between parents and kids. They found that the most important predictor of academic success is how much verbal stimulation parents provide early in a child's life. A child whose parents talk to him often, using large, varied vocabularies, almost always does far better in school than a child whose parents themselves are inarticulate. And in professional and working-class homes, parents speak directly to their children more than twice as often. The difference between the amount of stimulation that poor and middle-class kids receive, the researchers concluded, "is so huge as to be essentially unbridgeable."

So educators and politicians can speak all they like about raising test scores and leaving no child behind. Until the nation's underclass learns what it is doing wrong, our society's best-intentioned efforts are doomed to failure.

For a similar exhortation from Hugh Hewitt, click here.

GO BACK TO TOP

REASONS FOR CHURCHES TO BATTLE FAMILY DISHARMONY AND DIVORCE

So many biblical mandates apply to doing things like this Treasure Card ministry. We can only mention a few in general. And, nothing beats the example of Jesus who really cared about kids and said, "Let the little children come to me."

Proverbs 31:8 tells us to "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves." Children need others to watch out for their welfare. Churches must take action against the various causes of divorce and family disintegration, a main one being poor relationships at home. Children are helpless in the face of divorce and the ills that result.

Divorce is eating children alive, both inside and outside of the church. That must be battled. Even if we cannot be guaranteed fantastic results, we must do something. Treasure Cards is a "something" that can be done and makes a lot of sense.

Divorce is also eating the church alive. Fifty years ago the divorce rate of Christians was less than 4%. Now it is over 50%. In these last fifty years we have published book after book about marriage and parenting and created many information ministries. But, it has just gotten worse and worse. The Treasure Cards don't give knowledge – they give something concrete to do. That's one of the things that has been missing. By handing out Treasure Cards over a sustained period, habits of communication and relationship-building conversation can be established.

GO BACK TO TOP

DISCIPLESHIP GAINS FOR YOUR CHURCH FAMILIES AND MEMBERS

Discipleship involves more than acquiring Bible knowledge. The Treasure Card ministry gets many of the people in your church involved in loving action. There is nothing like active ministry for spiritual growth!

Those families with rather insular lifestyles will be encouraged to "get out of themselves". Since this is a ministry where children can also be involved in passing out Treasure Cards, it gives kids a sense of just how important they really are in the advancement of the Kingdom.

For the many church members who are tired of being passive in the church but do not want to commit to a major ministry role, this can be both a relief and a start. It will feel good to get up and do something for Christ. And it will be a start into ever growing commitment to ministry.

And, let's not overlook the value of a family having a ministry of its own. Working together for the benefit of three other families, carrying out the compassion of Jesus, is a great way to build a stable family that is divorce–proof.

GO BACK TO TOP

WHY THIS JUST MIGHT BE ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO REACH PEOPLE AND EVENTUALLY BRING THEM TO YOUR CHURCH

If going out to be helpful to people is truly along the lines of how Jesus related to nonbelievers, then it is the way to go.

If you have 100 ministry units (families plus others who want to pass out helpful Treasure Cards – seniors, singles, empty-nesters), then your church has the opportunity to have a vital role in 300 families and marriages outside of your church. Later, should the Holy Spirit send them looking for a church, yours will be high on the list.

This is perhaps the easiest servant evangelism church ministry possible. It is low involvement, unlike counseling alcoholics. It is quick, unlike fixing porches of the poor elderly. And, it will ignite a desire within many of your church's families to serve in more intensive ways (perhaps eventually counseling alcoholics and fixing porches).

And think of this: you can occasionally slip an announcement of special church events in with the Treasure Card being passed out that week. If you did this all the time, it would not look like the Treasure Cards are your concern for families and marriages. But, used occasionally, they would be pleasant invitiations to partake of the ministries of your church. In the above example of 100 ministry units, this would amount to 300 personal invitations – from your church members to a people in your community.

GO BACK TO TOP

MORE ON HOW A CHURCH USES TREASURE CARDS TO LOVE PEOPLE AND BATTLE DIVORCE AND FAMILY BREAKDOWN

Your church only needs to find one person who will do a little work in identifying those church households who will participate, order the Treasure Card Packages, and hand them out when they arrive. After that, this person oversees the encouragement of families in being persistent in handing out the Treasure Cards.

Because the pastor will be using the Treasure Cards at home with family or grandchildren, there should be references showing up in sermons.

We also offer more and more ideas on how to back this important ministry with contests and other motivational activities at our web site.

GO BACK TO TOP

WHAT KIND OF BACKUP EXISTS TO HELP CHURCHES AND FAMILIES BE SUCCESSFUL?

Your church can direct people to our web site established just for this project:

www.FamilyTreasureCards/com

There are over 45 articles by Dick Wulf to help marriages and families. And the number will be growing as the need arises. Furthermore, questions can be emailed to Dick and Jean Wulf and their staff. Answers will be posted on a Q&A page.

Over the ensuing months, more and more will be posted on the web site to help families, couples and your church administration of this ministry.

And, then there are the many resources offered at The Great Relationships Store. (Click here to see a list)

GO BACK TO TOP

WHAT MORE CAN A CHURCH DO WITH OUR MATERIALS TO HELP FAMILIES AND MARRIAGES?

Our Tool Kits lend themselves to excellent workshops you can run at your church. The Great Family Conversations Tool Kit was used in churches all over Wyoming in 2004 and 2005. They had families come for a free dinner and to use a different conversation grid for 4 consecutive Wednesday evenings. To attest to the popularity of these seminars, kids often asked for the evenings not to stop after just four weeks. (Click here for Wyoming documentation)

GO BACK TO TOP

HOW THIS PROJECT CAME ABOUT

This is the project of Dick and Jean Wulf. Both are psychotherapists with over 60 years of experience between them. The design work was done by Dick who often woke up in the middle of the night with brand-new ideas clearly formed in his head. He attributes this to God wanting to help people through the products of The Great Relationships Store.

Dick and Jean on their 39th anniversary. They have now been married 40 years. They have 3 grown daughters and 3 grandsons.

GO BACK TO TOP

CHURCH PERSONALIZATION

GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM

GUIDELINES FOR DIALOGUE ON THE BACK OF THE CARDS

The following Guidelines for Dialogue have been divided in two and appear on alternating Treasure Cards. These guidelines are expanded on the web site www.FamilyTreasureCards.com.

Guidelines for Dialogue

For good dialogue, it is important to follow these ground rules:

1. Be truthful so other family members can understand you better and treat you better.

2. The publisher and the church that gave you this card cannot be responsible for the outcome of your conversations. Use good judgment. If conflict arises, stop immediately and seek the expert help of a professional counselor or psychotherapist. Healthy family relationships are extremely important. (this one is on all Card backs)

3. No arguing, criticizing or objecting. People hate to be criticized over things they say.

4. Listen in order to understand the other person, not to change him or her.

5. Ask lots of questions (usually "Why?" or "What do you mean?") to clarify what is being communicated. Other clarifying questions can be: "What?" "What for?" "How?" "When?" "How come?" "Where?" "In what way?" "Can you explain?" "Please tell me more."

6. Refrain from giving advice or breaking in with your own contribution.

7. Let people be themselves, even if they give an answer that you do not agree with or like.

8. Avoid conflict over answers. There are no right or wrong answers. 6. Solve problems only after much dialogue has produced deeper understanding.

© 2006 Dick Wulf, MSW, hope2help.com, Colorado Springs, Colorado USA

GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM

PRODUCT LIST OF THE GREAT RELATIONSHIPS STORE

The Great Family Conversations Tool Kit
600 fun and informative items to talk about, using safe dialogue.
A process to use for years to build relationships.
Brings families closer and helps them enjoy one another more.
Gives kids the skills to be able to work with people socially.

The Great Parenting Conversations Tool Kit
600 fun items about responsibility and important things to talk about.
A process to use for years to build responsibility.
Builds character and a strong sense of responsibility, and survival skills.
Gives kids the very critical skills necessary to excel in supervisory positions later.

The Great Family Leadership and Success Tool Kit
575 dialogue questions and activities to help get kids ready for the real world.
A process to use for years to build problem-solving and decision-making skills, values & wisdom.
Helps the family work together and encourage one another.
Gives kids the very critical skills necessary for career managerial positions later.

The Kids' Chores Management Tool Kit
Tools to teach chores and follow up on progress.
A process to use for years to build responsibility.
Helps get the chores done.
Helps parents teach the broad range of domestic skills necessary for adult life.

The Behavioral Growth Tool Kit
Start much better behavior & stop dysfunctional behavior.
Teach ten of the very most valuable behaviors for success.
A process to use for years to build exceptional behavior.
Helps kids change dysfunctional behavior for much, much better behavior.
Helps children grow into ten extremely important personal skills.

The "Dialogue for Effective Parenting" Audio CD
Parents listen to remember good parenting communication.
Something to listen to every so often to keep on track.
Helps parents learn to dialogue with their children.

The "Why Chores and Rules" Audio CD
Kids listen to think correctly about chores and rules.
Something to use in disciplining with educational consequences.
Backs up parents by helping kids understand why chores and rules are necessary.

The Great Refrigerator Communication Tool Kit
Where the food is . . . there are the important messages.
Communication items & magnets do the job of making sure no one gets forgotten.
A process to make critical communication easier.
Helps the family communicate better about important things.
Makes it easier for kids to ask for help and talk about their needs.

The Great Family Activities Tool Kit
Many activities to help family members build better family relationships through fun and intriguing activities.
A process to use for years to keep the family having fun together.
Includes a Family Survival Audio CD for when traveling or waiting too long.

The Child Safety Games Tool Kit
15 games to help children be safe from 14 major dangerous situations.
A process to use for years to keep safety top priority.
Gives kids automatic thinking in the face of 14 very dangerous situations.

The Helpful Grandparents Positive Influence Tool Kit
Have an even more positive influence in your grandchildren's lives.
A process to use for years to help grandkids succeed more and more.
Helps grandparents relate to and prepare their grandchildren for success.
Conversations that make a BIG difference.

The Great Couple Conversations Tool Kit
600 informative items to talk about, using safe dialogue.
A process to use for years to build a more understanding, safer relationship.
Brings spouses and partners closer together in understanding and enjoyment.
Fosters acceptance, helpfulness, cooperation, and other good-relationship things.

The Great Couple FUN Conversations Tool Kit
600 fun and informative items to talk about, using safe dialogue.
THIS IS THE SAME SET AS THE FAMILY CONVERSATIONS GRIDS
A process to use for years to build a more intriguing, understanding relationship.
Helps spouses and partners know one another better in the practical areas of life.
Fosters more acceptance and fascination with each other.

The Great Couple Activities Tool Kit
Many activities to help couples build better relationships through fun and intriguing activities.
A process to use for years to keep partners having fun together.

Christian Religious Tool Kits

The Great Faith Conversations and Prayer Tool Kit
15 grids to encourage communication and accelerate spiritual grow about 700 issues of faith
and to encourage more communication with God through prayer for 800 things often left out
A process to use for years to build more Christlikeness and closeness to God.
Helps the whole family become a more obedient Family of Faith.

The Great Faith Conversations and Prayer Tool Kit
9 grids to enhance communication with God in prayer
TAKEN FROM THE GREAT FAITH AND PRAYER TOOL KIT GRIDS
A process to use for years to build more Christlikeness and closeness to God.
Helps the Christian individual become more personal with God and more obedient.

GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM

WYOMING CONFIRMATIONS

September 26, 2005 was National Family Night, an encouragement for families to start eating together as a family again. The concern arises out of our nation's problems with delinquency, drug and alcohol abuse, and unwanted pregnancies. All of these and other social problems are directly related to family breakdown and poor relationships in the family. In Wyoming, the Governor's Wife sponsored Family Night and used our Great Family Conversations Tool Kit.

Over 3500 families have used The Great Family Conversations Tool Kit in Wyoming during 2005.

GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM

MORE CONFIRMATIONS

2005 Colorado School Counselors Convention:    When we showed our Tool Kits to dozens of school counselors at this convention where Dick presented two professional training sessions, there was 100% recognition of their need and value. School counselors and even other exhibitors enthusiastically and expectantly bought a great many of the Tool Kits.

"We are missionaries who lived in Eastern Europe for 14 years. In the last 3 years we used the Great Family Conversations Tool Kit as a family. We would go out to eat once a week and bring our a set of discussion grids with us. During this time, we would genuinely get to know each other. We feel that it greatly enhanced our family relationships."

GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM

HUGH HEWITT ON THE NECESSITY OF LEARNING HOW TO ASK DIALOGUE QUESTIONS

"The best minds are constantly asking questions and acquiring information. In the legal profession this is the first task, getting the facts. It seems to be the first task in the medical profession as well, as it is in science and many other fields. The best candidates for jobs are thus those asking questions."

"If you are heading into an interview for a job or for any admission or any benefit that you want, the questions will decide your success at least as much as your answers."

"Always practice for those interviews that will make or unmake your career by developing the questioning skills you will need to make those interviews come alive. Not only will you arrive prepared for the moment you are judged qualified or not for employment, but you will also develop a skill critical to leadership of any organization."

"Ask questions. In every conversation and with every sort of person. And listen carefully to the answers. This practice will set you apart from a vast mass of people too absorbed in themselves to notice the world around them."

Hugh Hewitt

host of The Hugh Hewitt Show, a nationally syndicated radio talk show
professor of law at Chapman University School of Law
graduate of Harvard College and the University of Michigan Law School
served five years in the Reagan Administration in a variety of posts

Hewitt's Web site is www.HughHewitt.com

GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM

WORKING WITH SINGLE PARENTS

A church family headed by a single parent has two options for use of the Marriage Treasure Cards. The single parent who is looking for a partner can use them to start conversations that will help determine if the date is "marriage material". The single parent who is not looking can give the Marriage Treasure Cards to a couple that does not have children.

If a church family is giving the Treasure Cards to a single parent who is not looking, then the church family has a fourth ministry to a couple without children.

GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM

BENEFITS
That Come from the Family and Marriage Treasure Card Dialogue Conversations

dialogue skills give safety to family communication
skills are gained in expressing self
listening skills are developed
tolerance for differences is developed
appreciation for the uniqueness of others grows
feeling of importance and significance is gained
appropriate attention from others is attained
family members grow closer to one another
family members understand one another more and more
family members get along better and better
family members cooperate with each other more often
family members become more supportive of one another
family members love one another more deeply for years and years
parents and their kids talk about important things without arguing
kids and teens think about very important issues of life
kids and teens think about the right way to do chores and responsibilities
parents lovingly discipline through educational consequences
kids participate in deciding what will teach them right behavior
children grow their strengths and deal with their weaknesses
kids and teens think about various survival and success skills
kids and teens develop responsible thinking skills
kids and teens learn skills in task planning recognition and analysis of chores and responsibilities
kids and teens participate in their own discipline and correction
chore and rule compliance gets better and better
greater and greater family contributions are encouraged
cooperation regarding chores improves
positive attitudes are instilled to lead to more happiness and less complaining
wisdom and values that enhance the chance for success grow
problem-solving skills are developed
a variety of things to do as a family are adopted
helpful attitudes and actions toward all family members are fostered
positive attitudes and "can do" orientation to life is developed
creative problem-solving skills are developed
solutions about social situations are discovered
family teamwork is encouraged

Click here to return to where you probably came from.